Frequently Told Mountain Bike Lies

  1. There’s no more climbing.
  2. It’s not that steep.
  3. It’s not very deep – just ride through it!
  4. It’s basically flat with a few hills.
  5. We’re almost at the top.
  6. Just a couple more miles.
  7. Oh it’s totally rideable!
  8. Technical? Nah, just a few rocks and ruts here and there.
  9. We’re gonna take it easy today.
  10. Yeah, I cleared that section.
  11. Just one more hill, right around that turn.
  12. Nah, you won’t get wet today.
  13. Nope, no snakes on this trail!
  14. It’s a beginner ride. You’ll be fine.
  15. I’m not lost, I’m just checking out a path I’ve never done before.
  16. You won’t need your pads today.
  17. It’s merely a flesh wound!
  18. Don’t worry, that won’t bruise up overnight.
  19. Nah, you don’t need to go to the ER.
  20. It’s all downhill from here.
  21. It’s not walking if you have at least one foot in the pedals.
  22. Nope, didn’t dab once.
  23. If (insert name) didn’t stop in front of me, I would have totally made that climb!
  24. Oh yeah, you can ride down that – no problem!
  25. Follow me. I know where I’m going.
  26. That’s not rain, it’s just a little bit of drizzle.
  27. If you get tired, we can just turn around or take a short cut back.
  28. Tacos for breakfast? Great idea!
  29. Nope, no poison oak on this trail; just don’t touch the green stuff.
  30. Those skin tight bike shorts make your ass look GREAT!
  31. You won’t need your rear brake on this ride. It’s OK.
  32. The trail is totally safe. Just don’t look down.
  33. If I can clear that on my singlespeed, you should have no problem on your bike!
  34. I had the KOM on that climb, but my phone died before I could post the results!

Heard any more good ones lately?